*clears throat*

well wednesday was a bad start. but i feel better now and things are back to normal. it turns out that the "two so-called" girls was actually ONE PERSON!!  I tracked down their IP Address and found out that it was the same bitch posing as 2 different people (what a amateur). I also found out who they are, and their crappy web site, and also have their host name, not bad huh? And i also was curious about my "older entries" and went to the comments section on my entry "My Life is like a Rollercoaster Ride" and found some more garbage written. but ONCE AGAIN I found the IP Address and it was a desperate person posing not only 1 or 2 people but 6!!! Isn't that hilarious?!!

*sighs* I knew a fan club would eventually form. But no worries, i put their IP on my list and they are not coming back, and also got my service on notice. But one more thing: It's just soooooo funny when people do these things. My friends tell me that they are bored and have nothing to do with themselves, and that's why they do the dumb things they do LOL. Especially for people who are "Master in Disguise" and have the power to be 100 million people. but whatever, that's life.

Anywho, i'm at my sister's college today! I was bored as hell at my house so she picked me up for a spin in her grand car lol. She got the new Mariah Carey CD and played the song "We Belong Together". I really like that song, it's so nice and the beat mixes well with the words she had to say.

Yesterday was Trishanne's 16th birthday!!!! Happy Birthday girl! Your friends and I LOVE YOU!! hope you got what you've wanted, and to blossom into a young adult. keep the spirit alive!

I need to get my hair done because it looks a mess. So I could look nice for school on monday. I might have to call my mom and tell her Saturday that i need to get my hair permed now.

Ugh. I'm so STRESSED OUT!! And I don't know why!!! everything is just caving down on me and it's driving me crazy. I feel as if i need to really talk to a professional about my feelings and what's going on in my life. Because I feel sick and i've noticed that i've been sleeping alot more than I'm supposed to. I guess it has to do with my grades in school or something. but as soon as I get back to school on monday, i'm doing nothing but homework (and track that is). And track is also fucking stressful because my legs hurt so bad from the terrible exercises we have to do all the time. shoot, no one said it was going to be easy.

I guess i have to "find" myself, and see who i really am. I know i'm growing up and seeing things at a different perspective than I used to when i was 14. I've become less shy (well not alot, i'm still alittle bit shy lol) but i'm working at it. People pick on me and say rude things to my face or behind my back because of my dark complexion. Shit, I'm going to be fucking real right now! I'm not going to pretend and fake like I have a 100% fabulous lifestyle in this journal. I have problems and insecurities like everyone else. but anyway, it's frustrating because the comments they say are so cruel and ridiculous. They don't even know me, including the popular people. My mom tells me "People who say the rudest things are ALWAYS the ugliest people"<--I love my mommy. she makes me feel better at times like these. but mostly i have to focus on people who do appreciate me, like my friends for instance. they don't care if I'm pink, white, blue, polka dot or striped! they love me for me, and that's what really motivates me to strive and do better.

*whew* had to let that out, i'm tired and need to talk to my mom about what's really going on in my life and ask her if she can take me to a person (therapist, etc) or something. I just want to feel better about myself. So yea, you can basically say that I have somewhat "low" or "average" self-esteem.

Ok, i'll write soon whenever i have the time or something. I really need to think things through.

Lata luvers,

juicy bitch*